"Maybe I am just a few years too young, waiting for a future yet to come"
I clearly cannot communicate as well as I had hoped. Well, at least when what I deem my clear communications are not nearly as effective as I had hoped. The question is, can the second party understand that my reaction... Well can they see past the little thing that made me react and realise it goes a little deeper than that?
Perhaps I am not clear with boundaries that would have prevented such a situation. But what can I do? I feel like while you (dearly beloved anonymous you) gets to be upset, react badly, viciously -not quite so much vicious as self protective like a porcupine extending its quills to protect itself from an estimated threat-, and I am to forgive and forget willingly without the same courtesy extended toward myself.
Perhaps this is all just self defeating talk. I have rarely seen the occasion to loose control that I visibly cause harm to allow you the chance to treat me graciously too. Or all the times I have undoubtedly hurt you without any intention or knowledge.
It is just supremely frustrating. I throw a bit of cake at you out of frustration and you run away. No opportunity for reconciliation, I decided to stop chasing you long ago. It is too hard. Am I harsh? I do not know. But I am not God, and he is undoubtedly the only one who can chase us for as long as necessary without tiring.
Maybe I need to go to communication school. Ha!
Well what people keep saying is phrase it all about yourself, putting no blame on the other person. When you ____ I feel____ because I am _____. Something like that?
Anyway, goodnight. :o rawr. I'll be a lion tomorrow, just don't worry about it.
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