I fear/anticipate
Change is coming again and I don't know where it will lead this time, if I will make the right choices... But I know any choices I make can be altered/transitioned for better purposes even if they are in the guise of bad. Is it the time for grasping at straws again? Trying to find a place to settle into. I hope my home will be a nice one. The last one was enjoyable... Transitory flights between the then and now. Or is it only the now? The present is much better shared than hoarded by any one individual. Floating down the river deNile... I will give in and flux at one point or another. Transfigure into a phoenix of sorts. Do you fully comprehend how alone the phoenix is? Living on through the ages leaving and forgetting anyone and everyone he ever loved to renew into the exact same sort of fiery combustion. He isn't really being reborn, living the same life at a different time. Re-enacting his greatest achievement and tragedy all in one impulsive reaction. But that is too forgotten. Not a fully formed issue. We will get through this together. Just name the time and place... I may be there. If there is a care. I give up ten times too many but then I try again 9 more times. One is lost. I try not to bemoan that instance to much. But I can't but help question what-if's that raise hell in my brain. Then again if I had not tried in the first place giving up would not be an option for there would be a lack of things to give up on. Failing to try is a worse fate than failing after trying. Something is gained in the failing, nothing is gained by hiding but the increasing hunger and weakening of will.
Change is coming again and I don't know where it will lead this time, if I will make the right choices... But I know any choices I make can be altered/transitioned for better purposes even if they are in the guise of bad. Is it the time for grasping at straws again? Trying to find a place to settle into. I hope my home will be a nice one. The last one was enjoyable... Transitory flights between the then and now. Or is it only the now? The present is much better shared than hoarded by any one individual. Floating down the river deNile... I will give in and flux at one point or another. Transfigure into a phoenix of sorts. Do you fully comprehend how alone the phoenix is? Living on through the ages leaving and forgetting anyone and everyone he ever loved to renew into the exact same sort of fiery combustion. He isn't really being reborn, living the same life at a different time. Re-enacting his greatest achievement and tragedy all in one impulsive reaction. But that is too forgotten. Not a fully formed issue. We will get through this together. Just name the time and place... I may be there. If there is a care. I give up ten times too many but then I try again 9 more times. One is lost. I try not to bemoan that instance to much. But I can't but help question what-if's that raise hell in my brain. Then again if I had not tried in the first place giving up would not be an option for there would be a lack of things to give up on. Failing to try is a worse fate than failing after trying. Something is gained in the failing, nothing is gained by hiding but the increasing hunger and weakening of will.
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